Feel Good Drag

I think that things are starting to settle in now. I have spent nearly every waking hour of everyday trying to find a job. Filling out applications. Giving away resumes. Scheduling interviews. Having interviews. Following-up. I am starting to get tired. And I am starting to get a little discouraged, and a little depressed.

I have successfully scored a part-time job with Journeys at the mall. The pay is minimum wage, and I may get up to 10 hours a week. I am happy that I do have something. But realistically I need more. I need more work. More pay.

I have had quite a few very good interviews. Two more at the hospital. Neither of which are doing what I would want to do...but I am not picky. One with a trucking company. Quite a few at the mall. And one that I am really hoping for, an Assistant at an Oral Surgery center. I actually go back for a "working interview" with them tomorrow. I am very excited about it. I will have the chance to show them that I am a very hard worker. And that I do know what I am doing. And that I would be a very good asset to the team.

With all that success that I have had, I still do feel a little discouraged. I think the seriousness of the situation has been sitting on top of me rather hard. I need a job. I need a good paying job. I am trying to stay hopeful, and stay positive. But I am finding that to be hard right now.

I still feel really good about being here in Mankato. I love it here. I do. I want desperately for things to work out. I know that if they don't that my family and friends would readily accept me back in Utah. I am very grateful for that. I still feel that I need this. That I need to be here. I feel as if I have some lesson to learn or something. I am trusting my feelings. I am putting faith in them. I hope that it pays off.

I am not sure why I am starting to be discouraged and depressed. I think that I have had quite a bit of success for the amount of time that I have been searching. I think that I am missing interaction with people. Real interaction...not just during an interview. I have been trying to make friends at Journeys. I just still feel as if there is a big hole missing in me.

But I can't let it get to me. I need to stay focused. I need to stay positive, and not begin to doubt. Right now though, I am finding that to be much harder than it has been in the past.