When I Come Around

About a year ago I had a photography assignment where I needed to capture "me" in one self-portrait. This was a hard task for me. Cause I think I am such a varied person, and I didn't know how I could show all the facets of who I am in one picture. I thought on the task for quite a while, then came up with an idea to ask all my family and friends to use one adjective to describe how they see me. There is a good chance that you got that text message.

Now a year later I am looking at that list and wonder how many of those adjectives still describe me. And who I am now. I think that the majority of them are still there, and still apply to me...but I would have to add a few to that list now. Struggling. Depressed. Sad. Remorseful. Discouraged. Those are just a few that I can think of. But looking at the list of how you described me, those adjectives should not be there. Why should I let the current circumstances determine who I am?

Yeah, Morgan was a huge part of who I was. But just because we are no longer together, does not mean that I can not be who I was. It does not mean that I need to adopt these new characteristics. Like depression. Or Remorse. Traits that won't do me any good to have. I think that I have held on to my feelings of sadness for so long, that I am at risk making them become a permanent part of who I am...rather than just emotions and fleeting feelings.

So...(deep breath)... They are gone. I have let go of them.

I am Josh Wright, and I am; Caring. Jovial. Strong. Talented. Jolly. Innocent. Goofy. Laid-back. Outstanding. Chill. Gentle. Sincere. Determined. Hardworking. Bright. Crazy-awesome. Friendly. Gnarly. Funny. Engaging. Tenacious. Charming. Joker. Amazing. Breathtaking. Clever. Ostentatious. A schemer. Ambitious. Cultured. Boundless. Genuine. Outgoing. Funny. Easy-going. Witty. Optimistic. Loyal. Loving.

What's done is done. I need to accept that fact. I need to move on with my life, as much as that hurts me. And as much as I don't want to. How am I ever supposed to heal, if I keep opening my wounds? How am I ever supposed to be me again, if I don't start acting like, me? I love Morgan. I love the time that we had together. She did so many wonderful things for me. Sadly, those times are over. I will always love her. And she will always have a special place in my heart. I would love for us to come back together in the future. It would be a dream come true.

But this is my time. My time to be selfish, and live life for me. Time for the Josh that you all know, to be Josh again. Time to take up those characteristics that you said described me as. In the words of a modern-day prophet: "It has to start somewhere. It has to start sometime. What better place that here? What better time than now?"