Ballad Of Big Nothing

February 9, 2009. That was the day that started. That was the day that I began my career as a Surgical Technologist. Many classes, and many tests, and a lot (and I mean A LOT) of stress, and issues, and hoops, and problems finally lead to today. April 19, 2010.

Today was the first day that I actually did what I started back in February of 2009. I scrubbed in for my first surgery.

It was a very slow day at the surgery center. Only 3 cases. As opposed to around 15-20 a day. I had 2 of those 3. The first was a umbilical hernia repair. It was actually a very big hernia. Bigger than the surgeon had expected. And the woman was far bigger than I had expected... I basically did this entire surgery on my own. I had a preceptor there to help me when I needed it. But he didn't do much at all. I was very surprised by how well I did. I was on top of everything. I wasn't nervous or stressed at all. I was very calm, and confident. After the surgery was complete, both surgeons, the circulating nurse, and John (my preceptor) told me how impressed they were with how well I did. They said that I never made a single mistake or error, and knew what I was doing. It was a nice compliment. I made me feel very good. I have always known that I can do this. And that I am good at it. But it is nice to hear it from someone else besides Morgan and my family. Someone who does this everyday as a profession.

The second case was much different. It was a laparoscopic cholesystectomy. Basically a removal of the gall bladder with a scope. I was in charge of the scope and camera. It was with the same surgeons, and with John again. I was very surprised how amazingly clear the camera was. It was inserted through the belly button, and I moved and controlled it through a sheath. This was supposed to be a simple surgery. 20-30 minutes at the most. Complications kept coming up. And 1 1/2 hours into it, the surgeon decides to take a different approach. By this time, I am starting to get really tired. I couldn't move much while I was controlling the camera. One move on my end would throw the surgeons off on their end, and this may just lead to more complications. I did my best to limit all of my movements. This was very hard for me. My knee was throbbing. I was sweating very badly. I started to feel light-headed. And then before I knew it, I was spinning, and my vision was gone. Luckily I reacted quickly. I told John I was about to pass out. I quickly gave the surgeon control of the camera and sat down on the floor. I was so sick. My head was spinning. The anesthesiologist came over and helped me. Next thing I knew I was in the lounge with a doughnut and orange juice. I felt like such a wimp. But everyone told me that it happens all the time. Especially when a person (like me) skips breakfast, and then expects to keep up their strength through a long procedure like that. Oh well. Now I know.

Altogether I think that I had a good day. Oh, I made a good observation today. While I was attending my school. I would often get nervous when my teacher would be doing a mock surgery with me. Not because I didn't have confidence in myself. But because my teacher would inspire that nervousness. Instead of a positive learning atmosphere, it was basically one of fear. Always knowing that you would do your best, and no matter what you did, it was wrong. Today, my first day of being a scrub. Doing something that I really hadn't done before. And doing it all on my own. I wasn't nervous at all. I knew what I was supposed to do. And I did it. Does that say something with my school and teacher...?